literally had 100 drinks last night.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize