i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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