no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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