Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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