It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
