Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
