Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
