is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
