You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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