btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
how does that bad decision feel?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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