When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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