Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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