So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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