I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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