My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize