OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
