so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
