Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
