I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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