At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
