Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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