Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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