i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need to calm my uterus...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
