wrigley field is MILF paradise
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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