The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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