My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
