Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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