so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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