can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
