It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
