Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Floor bacon is actually really good
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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