I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
