You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
