He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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