At least make sure they are 18
Why
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
