yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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