Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
