she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
