Betty ford says i'm here all night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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