I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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