come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
