can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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