a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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