Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize