I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
