My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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