my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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