well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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