i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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