just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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