Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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