grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
