we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
