Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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