I think im going to throw up on grandma
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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