I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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