You're my little dorito
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
