i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
