They should really pass out barf bags in church
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
