OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
