I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she peed on how many people?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
