haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
