just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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