This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a hot homeless man
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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