Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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