he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
