you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You left your phone here
Wait...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
