I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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